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If asked to describe my intellect, I’d have to say that it lies somewhere between a rocket scientist and Lennie from Of Mice and Men.

Believe me, nobody’s putting me in charge of sending a Cosmonaut to Mercury. But on the flip side, I do know to stop hugging the baby before he turns cornflower blue.

I don’t pretend to understand E=mc2, nor can I fathom how people with no job seem to always have beer and cigarette money.

And also a dog.

But I knows what I know.

For example, I’m aware you gotta pay your bills on time, and, more importantly, I’m pretty sure I understand what’s funny. Admittedly it’s usually not funny to everybody, but I do know what is hilarious to people of a like, fucked-up mind.

It’s for these folks that I write my silly stories and jokes. There’s no judgment. They just laugh because they get it. They understand that I wouldn’t really hug a baby to death.

Even if I wanted to.