So I was thinking…

I sometimes enjoy a cup of hot tea and have been known to order it when I’m out having a meal. The caveat is never at dinner or at a busy restaurant where the establishment sells alcohol, and, for some reason, hot tea is just randomly on the menu because someone initially thought it would be a good idea. So basically, the rule is never when the place is packed, and the server is swamped because it’s a pain in the ass.

I can tell you from experience that when you order hot tea during any of the above examples, “lovely” or “sophisticated” are not words used to describe you behind the scenes. And if you want to add to your douchebaggery image, smugly order it with a side of honey so that everyone within earshot will know how health conscious you are.

If you still feel that your sexy Friday night out on the town won’t be complete without a steaming cup of Chamomile with honey, then just be aware that your server will be out of commission for the next 15-20 minutes as they wait for the crystalized goo at the bottom of the sticky bottle that never gets used or cleaned to glob out onto the counter, their hands and hopefully, some will even make it into a ramekin. Then, as the server spends the rest of their evening trying to peel cocktail napkins, guest checks, and stray hair from their gummy fingertips, you will get the pleasure of leaving an indignant one-star review on Yelp because it took forever to get your drink and all you ordered was a cup of hot tea.